found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
