i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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