He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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