Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
