Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
