He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
