i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
