so explain again why im purple
no
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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