Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
