who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
