i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
