I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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