Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
