I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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