Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's just like the Real World with babies
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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