pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize