we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
stop calling my apartment porn island.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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