What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
