I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
