i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
