if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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