just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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