did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
