the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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