i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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