i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Ketchup is God's man juice
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
