I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
