It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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