i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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