A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize