No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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