I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
