he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
