What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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