her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
