none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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