He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
