dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
