He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
