tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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