fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
