What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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