idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
