I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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