I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't put those talents on a resume
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
