Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
