Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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