thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
