the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
