Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
