Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
