Your face is a jimmy john
i wish my penis had a tongue
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
