Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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