What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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