I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just high enough for therapy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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