i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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