I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
