Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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